First Sales Packet

too many things to talk about, PH's last post was so exciting i have just been giddy with that! in addition, it is totally bizarre to have this whole outlet about little o, while i am totally beside myself, there are so so many things going on in life to talk about. again, focus, i know, this is a discipline to record this journey. 

so while i had so many things to be thankful for over thanksgiving, minimally i had to post your future grandfather and dad, who are builders and craftsmen extraordinaire. truly, i can't

 believe the generations of Oster men that have delighted in and have skill in woodworking, what an awesome gift! This is a library wall they have built for the living room and i am SO grateful! and Sherri, the shopper extraordinaire, and I had a blast shopping while they continued construction in the home. 

okay, so... it is always "special" to find yourself emotional in a non emotional place... aka the post office. and there i was yesterday, choked up as i mailed the first application. our first sales pitch (insert laugh here), but that is what it feels like. fun things like height, weight, salary, pictures, and criminal record.. sure hope i am tall enough. Ha. so seriously, i am so extremely desirous to be accepted into the Peru program with the agency and they told me today that they received the application and that they would be in touch in 2-3 weeks. 

if they accept us, then my presh friend Kate said we could celebrate that i would be "paper pregnant"! i have a schedule for paperwork and updated documents and as soon as we get the thumbs up, we move full steam ahead. 

thanks for praying for God's will as we await the first application response...

Decision Number 2 (Numero dos)

So with a little trepidation, but much excitement, we have decided on Peru!

This decision is the second of many and only the beginning, but it's an exciting one for us. This leap of faith to begin a process with an agency and to chose a country is a big first step. It marks the beginning of a journey, much of which feels unknown at this point.

Peru has a large number of orphaned children, the majority of which aren't even in the system, because the Peruvian government doesn't have the resources. We are full of joy that growing our family means adopting a small child from Peru. So, we invite you to pray for our agency, for the country of Peru, and for us as we hope for our Peruvian pequeño o.

Let the paperwork begin!

mini moments

i don't know why I am still shocked when God's generous and creative nature shows up in pain. already, since June, i have multiple vivid memories of BIG God surprises of healing and relationship. i haven't planned these mini moments or controlled them or expected them in any way, but at just the right times they happen, its like when the sun peaks through after a long rainstorm and you are only prepared for the dark and thunder but then you feel the warmth of the sun on your face. 

i will never get used to someone crying for me. it is the most surreal feeling to imagine being cared about like that, to believe and trust in your family and community enough that you would receive their tears on your behalf. it totally moves me, and it gives me great peace. it reminds me we will be okay, even better than okay, we will be loved. 

little o, remind me later of these these things. of all the mini moments I experienced as i wrestled with grief and hope in having a family. 

Grey

This weekend, I am wrestling with the greys in this process. 

we went to Greensboro yesterday for an informational meet and greet with the attorney from one of the agency's we're considering. He is the attorney on the ground in Peru taking care of the legal aspects of the adoption process for this agency. It was a very informative time for ash and I as we try to make a decision on country/agency. We learned more about the process there in Peru and it was well worth the trip. I'm sure Ash will write more about our time and the details throughout this week so I'll stop there.

these shades of grey I mentioned are questions like: "How do you make a big decision when there is no right (or wrong) answer?" "How do you determine whether God is guiding you in a particular direction or whether He's just asking you to trust Him?" Or the shades are emotions like: excitement and fear all at once, and Joy in the journey ahead but still mourning the loss thus far. These shades of grey fill my head and surface when my I get a moment to pause. they are not black and white items that can be figured out and checked off and then i can move on. They are hard to get my mind wrapped around.

in the absence of a black and white answer or emotion, I am trying to look for the good in the greys. Black and white photos are full of greys and we love the richness of the moment they convey. Grey stormy skies bring me sweet memories of a life I once lived in Portland. Grey "feelings" like those times where you've just argued with your spouse and you're hurt but couldn't love them more. These greys are good. And even more, I take comfort in a God who provides, who is constant and who loves me.

So I'm going to keep wrestling and see what happens. These greys (or grays, see even the word's spelling is ambiguous) tend to be where the color shows up in my like, where my heart is stretched and the conversations go a little deeper. I'll keep you posted. ~stephen

fancy pants

yesterday after an invigorating day-long workshop on ethics and leadership, PH and i had to get decked out for a black tie dinner. Little O, your dad is one handsome dude, i love going on dates with him! similiar to the the stunning trees of fall who are out to show their true colors, it is always fun put on the fancy pants every now and again.

so we checked the references and did the spreadsheet's (alex & stuart you would be proud) and haven't made a final final descion of course, but have decided that we should make the trip to Greensboro tomorrow to meet with the agency and the attorney

from Peru. He just so happens to be making his first trip to the agency and they are hosting a meet and greet. 

so the sales pitch begins, i am a little nervous b/c i want them all to like us and do cheers for us as we set the course! i want them to want to expedite their long process and decide they must get little o to us rapido. okay, so i just daydreamed aloud for a minute. i'm still going to practice up on my spanish just in case..

looking forward to having lunch w/your future aunt alli (she may try to put bows in your hair and give you floral prints, be forewarned) and sweet michael who have already been a great support to us! 

thanks for prayers for our time tomorrow as we move towards the Peru program. Please Lord give us wisdom if this is the country you would have us pursue for your children! 

Focus Ashley. Focus.

but i can't. i gave myself an allotted amount of time to read fun things this morning and it ends in 6 minutes so i better hurry up. i just can't help it, i am so overwhelmed by your kindness friends. i can't believe you guys care for us like this, it is just totally rad. (okay now mary watson is going to write something about how ridiculous it is that i said rad, but i just always like to try out new words as many of you know.)

i love the fall, i love the crispness of air and the coolness somehow lightens you. the trees of north carolina are glowing today. and here i am moderately giddy at my computer because i have this new outlet for dreaming about family and friends and little o. 

can someone pray that the peru reference person will write me back. i have two back from Kazakhstan and they are both recommending the program and the agency. its actually uber cool (had to) b/c the on the ground folks in Kazakhstan that work with the agency we are looking into are three sisters - one is a doctor, one is a lawyer, and one is like the administrative/relational coordinator. reminds me a lot of me, bryan and amy. (: 

no but seriously, they sound like a really neat team. peru on the other hand is where my heart leans naturally because i feel like i know more about the culture and i daily picture myself romping around the kitchen speaking spanish to the mini's. i love the language. i already know the coolest language immersion school. okay, so i am getting way ahead of myself. 

tonight is spreadsheets, and pro's and con's ... so we'll be in touch. 

SO GRATEFUL for you. 

appreciating technology

here is stephen awarding me for upgrading to a mac. small problem was that i actually got the better mac, the one with a camera! and here i am now, blogging, he should be so proud. 

little o's family and friends are all so spread out from mexico to british columbia and all spots in between, so we thought we would document this journey to little o with all of you. this way you can read an update whenever you want despite the time zones and work schedules, everyone can be a part of this journey however they would like. 

i feel like i have so much to tell you already!! 

One of the sweetest moments in the recent days was that my parents dropped in and we celebrated a very early thanksgiving together. I was telling them all about what we had researched on adoption and learned about our journey to little o and suddenly i heard some sniffles. dad and mom and i just all sat in the kitchen with teary faces, but these were new tears, the hopeful ones. the ones were you just love someone so dang much you can't help but feel the tears start in your belly and move through your shoulders to your mouth and then out your eyes. those tears remind me of the exact reason stephen and i are entering this journey now. i can't fathom looking at little o 30 years from now and having that belly deep joy and hope for your life as your parent. it seems worth the journey. 

so here we go! this week is a big week as we are praying for wisdom for the decision on country and agency. we have done the research, interviews, and requested references, and this week we hope to fill out an application for an agency and a program! We are looking at a Kazakhstan program and a Peru program. 

we'll be in touch!