And the delay is...

it has been so hard not to want to write everyday to let everyone know what was going on. thanks for the kind questions and pursuit. writing today is both a great joy and at the same time I have large sadness to be changing courses. I am three months pregnant. 

against all medical odds, here we are. and i know, you've heard the story before, i have too, it's just you never ever think you'll be the one given that story. and more than anything we are so so humbled to be reminded that God is indeed in control. Not our timing or medical advice or any effort on our part couldn't have written this story out. we are so moved by the Creator's design once again. 

we found out very early on and the last 8 weeks have been all over the board mostly staying in the fear and confusion phases. "God, i came to not only accept adoption as our journey but feel great passion for it. i have a huge space in my heart for little o. i have seen their face, i have traveled to Peru many times in my head and my bookshelves are ready with knowledge of this culture and country. this was good too. how and why now? what do you have for me to learn here? "

and at the same time trying to switch gears physically to create a safe growing environment for the baby inside me. to try to go grab the book of what to expect and learn all the eating rules. and be asked not to excercise. it was a huge transition with just enough complications to keep Stephen and I on our knees again. 

and here we are at 12 weeks and i feel you have spoken back to me so clearly. thank you. I feel one major work that you were doing was in our marriage. the infertility journey completely changed us and we will expand our family in September as a completely different set of parents that we would have ever been had we been able to get pregnant right away on our perfect timeline. our faith and team have been strengthened in trial. thank you. 

likewise even with the beginning of Sprout's life (this is what we call the new baby), we have been postured to humility and prayer more than ever in our lives. day and night we have been praying for Sprout to sprout and grow safely. i feel the last two months are marked by prayer and we have learned quickly of our need of surrender when it comes to beginning to know how to care for a child. 

God, you have molded us, moved us, changed us, broken us and we give all glory for the current story to you. we can only hope that it won't take fear or brokenness to keep our hearts knit closely to yours and to one another. 

Little O will forever be in my heart and I feel confident the adoption journey will return in our future. we may just be hoping for little o longer than we ever even imagined. 

For today, we are beside ourselves moving into hope for Sprout. thank you for this miracle.